Hold up a mirror and ask yourself what you are capable of doing and what you really care about. Then take the initiative — don’t wait for someone else to ask you to act.”
- Sylvia Earle, marine biologist and aquatic explorer
It’s a hell of a lot easier than taking action. Complaining doesn’t force me to outline goals, work towards a dream, or accomplish anything. I’m allowed to gripe—loudly—about all the things that aren’t happening and how upset I am over them. Someone should know, at least, how disgruntled I am at the world and that by in large the outcomes I’m experiencing aren’t my fault.
This past weekend contained a special day. MLK day, as a matter of fact. Granted it marks important historical events and means a lot to a lot of people, but I also selfishly view it as a day off of work and a “free day” that I can use just for me to catch up on all of the projects I have fallen behind on. I had big plans. Painting until my hands were a colorful byproduct, writing (well, typing) until I had a pile of future blog posts, lacquering shells till they shined… oh I had big ideals; so much to do. The laundry would be done and I would be content and totally caught up on life. What is it that they say about the best laid plans?
Let me back up for a moment and also say that I’m sorry to you as my reader that my blog has seemed a little behind, a few posts too short, and a few less inspirations as of late. Although due to a joyous reason—I’m pregnant!—it has been a little bleak! I’ll blame it on the hormones and days on end of nausea. But it’s never too late to gather up your cahones and bring New Year’s resolutions back around for another go at it. [As a side note, this blog will not be becoming a pregnancy/mommy blog, this is about the well-rounded woman remember? That means time just spent focusing on and improving you and not on everyone else and baby.] Who says resolutions have to fit resolutely onto a January 1st schedule anyway?
Back to the story, in addition to being pregnant I have also acquired a delightful batch of viruses known as the common cold. If that doesn’t help me feel like springing right out of bed and straight to a canvas I don’t know what will. [Sarcasm.]
Needless to say I didn’t accomplish anything on my gifted free day. I got one load of laundry done and thought about writing. Is it true that it’s the thought that counts? As I was telling my mom today, it seems like no matter how badly I want to get back on my soulful track (as I’ve just decided to call it), I can’t. No matter how much I want to build my own castles, I can’t seem to manage putting the first block into place. Cue internal anger and frustration: WHAT IS YOUR DEAL, SELF?!
I wish I had an answer for you. I wish that I could say “And this is what I realized in my a-ha moment.” But I can’t, because I don’t know exactly. I am still on a journey myself. What I can share with you is the strategies that I plan to employ to try to get there. My friend sent me these New Year’s resolutions questions, and I think they are a good place to start…
What am I bored of?
What do I want more of?
What can I let go of?
What would give me peace of mind?
What am I devoted to?
What am I bored of? So many things. That is kind of a sad realization to have. I’m not thrilled that my first response to that question is “so many things.” I’m bored of the same ol’ same ol’. Day in day out. Too much repetition, not enough creation. Too much have-to’s and not enough want-to’s.
What are the things in your day-to-day that cause more boredom than enjoyment?
What do I want more of? I want more creation. I want to do more things that make me happy. I want myself to make more time for myself. I want to stop putting myself last. I want more time and I can achieve that by using my time smarter and more efficiently.
What can you do to give yourself more of your wants?
What can I let go of? The biggest thing I can and want to let go of is self-doubt. Doubting yourself and your capabilities is probably one of the worst feelings ever. Questioning yourself over and over takes up too much brain space; use that time and energy on something else.
What is something you can let go of today? Next week? Next month?
What would give me peace of mind? The biggest thing that would give me peace of mind would be to be in a position that I can put myself and my family first while pursuing my passions. While this is my ultimate goal, I am not there yet. Thinking on a smaller scale, giving myself a break from my inner critic and embracing my life and living more passionately would definitely give me more piece of mind on a week to week basis.
What is something small that you can do to help move yourself toward having peace of mind?
What am I devoted to? My devotion list: my husband, family, dogs, friends. I want to add personal fulfillment and happiness to that list. I want to feel like I am taking meaningful steps to fulfill my passions on a regular basis and not putting them on the back burner. A “create more, stress less” kind of attitude. In turn, I would imagine this would increase my happiness quota.
What is something you can devote yourself to that will move you toward your ultimate goal?
Thank you Alexandra, for the inspirational questions. You can check out her blog here. And thank you my arrow reader, for sticking out the journey with me, and still coming back for more.