I have been feeling the heat lately. I have been working hard on transforming my life, and delving into my inner depths to try to unearth who I want to be; who I was meant to be.
This by no means has been an easy journey. It has been unnerving and at times distressing. People are creatures of habit and complacency, and only the drive for self-improvement and freedom was enough to break me out of what was becoming a molded shell. I didn’t want to be another drone just going through the motions.
I am by nature a creative spirit, and thrive on the new, exciting, adventurous, and artistic. I finally discovered, at 28 years old, that this is what I needed to refocus on and make my life direction about. I am grateful, though, that I have attained this realization now, as opposed to later in life.
Like a snake shedding its skin, I have been allowing the transformation to take off of me a gamut of emotions. I have let go of (most) stress, of worry, of feelings of inadequacies, and physical weight. I have let go of the need to be perfect (both in personality and body), and no longer try to hide behind so much make-up.
In the fires of transformation, I have embraced a positive attitude, calmness of mind, peace of heart, and a serenity and tranquility that have aligned me with God and the universe in a way that I have not felt before. Or maybe at least not felt since I was a care-free child who dreamed of being both a paleontologist and marine biologist, and taking on the world one art project at a time. I have embraced a healthy life-style, and eat well and exercise (most days). I have embraced the fact that no, I am not where I thought I’d be in life by this age. But yes, I have been so blessed in so many ways, and am so grateful for it.
I have embraced my inner guide, let go of my inner critic, and for the first time see clearly the path that, for now, I believe I am supposed to be on.
Transformation can be uncomfortable, like sitting too close to a blazing fire. But take solace in the fact that when we get hot and when we feel discomfort we are getting closer to our true fiery passions. Transforming has never been easy—just ask the phoenix—but we cannot burn brighter and come out better on the other side unless we endure the process that got us there.